Wednesday, December 26, 2007

OVER-THE-TOP Christmas Awards 2007

2007 Christmas Decoration of Choice: Anyone that celebrated this holiday with pre-teen and teen aged children knows that nothing says "I'm TOO COOL for Christmas" like this little mechanical marvel. In my day we slouched around like true teenagers whining every step of the way, refusing to participate in anything resembling family style joy. But, thanks to the cell phone, you can now reach out and connect with other miserable teenagers, forming a giant circular link of holiday angst. Was that Christmas Bells ...or the beep of yet another text message? (LOL)

Worst "Oh No you Dinnit" Christmas Gift: Patty presented this lovely specimen to Martha for Christmas. Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck..." board game should not be played by southern adults enjoying any holiday beverage, especially beer. What a treat it was to actually play this, and do my rendition of the"stomping on cockroaches"dance for all assembled. We really didn't need this game to give my family the perfect white trash Christmas, we could have written it. (LOL)

Annual Beeping, Twinkling Snowman "Guaranteed to Delight Patty all Year" Award: This year the "Christmas Snowman Surprise" from Avon was a real winner. It opened with a "bling, bling" of "magic" sound (activated with the slightest of movement) then played a happy Christmas carol as the figures inside ice skate around in the stomach. My sister has so many snowmen that she has an entire room set up to enjoy them all year, and you can bet we'll be hearing this one at least once a day. You would have thought she was given the hope diamond when she opened this one. (LOL)

Gift Guaranteed to Annoy Everyone in the Room Award: This prestigious award goes to the Playstation Rock Band Game. Oh, it was cute at first when the children were strumming the little plastic guitar and beating on the plate-like drums, but I assure you I could have lived another few years without watching my two adult (?) sisters and brother-in-law's rendition of a Bon Jovi classic. Especially the 26 times they repeated it in an effort to get a higher score. (LOL)

Holiday Dish that Most Resembles a Vegetable Award : My sister Martha's Broccoli Salad. It wins purely on the strength of actually being somewhat green with the inclusion of broccoli. Add sugar, bacon, pecans, raisins, and mayonnaise and you succeed in making a salad that is actually far worse for you to eat than full-on cheesecake. Good job Martha!

Thus concludes our Over-The-Top Christmas Award Blog. Can hardly with until New Year's ;)

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