Friday, March 28, 2008

Visual Representation of Interior Space

Tiny cuts in paper, like small steps, eventually cover large surfaces. Words aren't coming very easily this week for me, so I leave a small visual feast instead. Enjoy :)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Today is the Day

Actually it is always "the day". I was thinking earlier how we are not assured anything in this life, even another day in it. Oh, this concept is fine understood intellectually, but really letting it seep into consciousness takes a while. Glimpses are possible with near death, or the death of someone close, but it is the days of waking and fully understanding this that really count. Children know this instinctually, and loose it somewhere along the line to fit in with the larger society. Watching "The Milagro Beanfield War" movie a couple of weeks ago I laughed out loud when the old man woke and thanked God for another day. I laughed mainly in recognition of myself. Finally I'm in the stage of life I realize that it is "the day" everyday.
So today I had a good breakfast, the sun is shining, and the desk is calling. Today is the day.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Life Without Internet

Yes, it is possible. It has been flooding locally, and so my Internet cable has been hit and miss for going on three days. Blogging has been impossible. With no cable TV or Internet to entertain myself, I have turned to Easter baking. Making giant puffy cupcakes with globs of frosting is a comfort, even though if the flooding doesn't stop we might be bobbing for Easter eggs here.So quickly before I am once again logged off...Hoppy Easter to everybody :)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


During a really lucid dream last night I dreamed of Mama. I lost her a couple of years ago, and rarely dream of her so I took notice. In the dream she reminded me of something I had forgotten about, a great treasure. In 2000-2001 my mother "discovered" the Internet, with a little keyboard connected to her television set. I saw her use it once...painfully slow to type on and very slow to upload, a real chore. The ease of today's connections would impress her I am sure. So in my dream I was listening to her taped voice. Nothing really all that meaningful was said, just the type of messages she would leave on my answering machine at times. I lived far away from her for years, and when I have dreamed of her voice it is often those messages I remember. During this dream she triggered a memory of her emails. In 2000-2001 she wrote me an email everyday, and I wrote her one back. These emails were truly astounding, like a connection straight through to a different side of her. She was chronically depressed as an individual, but these emails were happy and hopeful. We discussed current events, family life, recipes..all manner of subjects. I truly enjoyed our daily conversations and was so grateful to have this insight into the core of my mother at the time. This all ended when my sister, in a jealous fit, told her I only emailed because I felt sorry for her. Nothing on this earth could have been less true then or now. But it built a wall in my mother, and the emails stopped. I saved all those emails, and I printed every single one of them. At the time I thought I was doing this to eventually bind copies, and give them to her grandchildren at some point in the future as a glimpse into their very complicated and conflicted Grandmother. But today I realize that I saved them for me too. So as I excavate through the years of my life discarding what is no longer useful, I will be on the lookout for a ream of paper that is all that is left of my mother's spirit. Thinking there might be a message for me in the now.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

March Madness

(LOL) And I don't mean basketball. The last week's news has had it's share of drama and then some. Can we go a week without a major scandal in Washington ? The Internet culture is, indeed, the dawn of a new age. It is much harder now for public and private people to be secretly hypocritical in their speech and actions. Someone somewhere has a tape recorder, a video phone and access to YouTube. In a way, this is a good thing. It is going to require a massive shift in the perception of our elected officials who for too long have "talked the talk" and walked a very different way. Those who's hate speech fell on a few now find it hitting the ears of all. But the rights to privacy have been blurred to such an extent that anyone is fair game, even those loosely associated with the main character under assassination. Who among us has not been in a situation where we disagreed with a sermon we didn't prepare, or had a friendship with someone based on what was exhibited and not in the totality of their activities? It is a strange new world. As usual, with every blessing does indeed come a curse. This judgemental scrutiny is fine and dandy, unless you are the focus of it. As a society we must stop the madness of continually searching for what is "right" and "wrong" and recognize that everything we rail against is within us as well.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

A Little Thank You from my Favorite Phantom

A little big, but she'll grow into it. Thanks from Crystal :)

Monday, March 10, 2008

Ronan Keating I Hope You Dance

World Market Escapade

Today was the day. I received a gift card from World Market for Christmas and it was such a lovely day I decided that today was officially "World Market Adventure Day." Gassed up the van and off I went, to bag the illusive Vodka Spaghetti Sauce and other gourmet delicacies. The sun was shining, the weather was crisp (but chilly only in the shadows.)..and away I went.

Then off to get water aerobics accomplished on my return. All is right in my world today. :)

Been painting for several days, have an idea that's been itching my brain for a while. Exercising my hand skills with a floral piece first, I think I must be anticipating spring. Haven't much felt the urge to write, but wanted to update for the folks that read here. I plan on uploading some work as soon as it is ready to see.

Finished "A New Earth", and the second Oprah online class is tonight. I'm re-reading it slower now and letting my mind chew on it sentence by sentence. Not really ready to discuss it here, but I have certainly had my own "ah-hah" moments with it. I am impressed with the inclusion of so many different religious tracts in it, mainly because that is how I've always felt about faith. Just different roads to the same destination.

So hope everybody experiences some small happiness today. Go ahead, it won't kill ya. (LOL)

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Yay! Snow Day

It is amazing, the way the weather has fluctuated this year. Two days ago in the 70's, now icy and cold again. Been chewing on vitamin C and luckily prepared myself for a few days of creative works at the house. A big roast beast, clean's all good.

Yes clean sheets. Is there anything as wonderful on a cold winter night than a warm envelope of bedding? I was thinking this just last night. Every Monday and Thursday is clean sheets day at my house. A little creature comfort ritual that is highly under-rated. It truly is impossible to be miserable when you anticipate clean sheets. Really, I am such a homebody it is funny even to me.

Lately it's been a real struggle to blog. I've realized just how visually motivated I really am in this process by reading other people's blogs. I guess writing is a small way that I express myself, and when I'm in the space to create I automatically turn to art projects. I have never expressed daily angst well, as I tend to approach writing, and any creative endeavor in fact, with a sense of hopefulness and gratitude. It is oh-so-hip to express caustic wit, belittle the efforts of other people, or grind away expressing every angst ridden moment of a life. So much harder, I think, to focus and express even the smallest goodness that graces every life. It is my thought that intelligence is not an automatic pass in the struggle to make positive impact in life. A very intelligent friend once told me that thinking was almost a disease in this culture. She could have been correct.

So off to tackle the roast beast. An onion, a handful of carrots, and a few red potatoes should coax it into sublime submission. On a cold winter's day in Illinois.