This was one of those weekends spent working at organizing and cleaning. I have always maintained that you can tell the condition of my mind by looking at my desk; when it is messy I am not thinking clearly, when straight I have a laser beam focus. Today my desk is cleared and ready for use. I know all this sorting is about movement, and feeling clear in my head how and what to move toward. It's been a long time, and I feel like moving forward again.
Sometimes you have to learn a lesson by repeating things until you understand why you do and then how they no longer serve you in life. It is not about intelligence, it is about emotion. Sometimes it is the healing of specific family trauma, at least it has been in my case. I finally understand the why, and now what I must do to go forward and break the cycle for myself. On a piece of notebook paper on my desk is a group of steps I have worked on for the last several days. Small steps cover large distances, and so I am starting those steps.
My treadmill miles are going well, I am still at 1 mile a day, hoping to improve as the days go by. And tomorrow water aerobics classes start, and I am really looking forward to that again. I am such a water baby, always have been. :) So that is the news from this weekend, all in all a very good one.
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