I've read Rob's horoscopes since I lived in Seattle, leafing through the "Stranger" every week to find them (also giggle at the personals), and was delighted when out in the world to find they could be delivered to my mailbox. This is my horoscope for this week, and since it is my birthday week I thought I'd share. Of course, no one does solar return charts like my friend D.D., but Rob is pretty good.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): U.S. Patent number 5,996,568 is an apparatus for safely shooting hot dogs into a crowd. Patent 4,834,212 is a device into which someone can scream and howl without bothering anyone nearby, allowing her to vent pent-up emotions. Patent 2,272,154 is a ladder that spiders can use to climb out of a bath. Patent 4,247,283 is a gadget that allows a trumpet to be used as a flamethrower while being played. These are exactly the kinds of imaginative innovations I urge you to work on, Libra. Your inventiveness is at an all-time high, as is everyone's need for your inventiveness.