And for those interested

285 Days since my last cigarette. Hard to believe, but true. There have been days this was hard to maintain for sure, but I am determined. Watching my Mother in her dying days hooked to an oxygen tank after years of smoking Bel-Airs is enough visualization anyone could ever need. My sense of smell has returned, skin tone drastically improved, and overall I feel a sense of compassion for anyone who finds themselves in the throes of an addiction. But for 285 days I have proven, to myself at least, that it is possible. Now to quit nicotine replacement is the final step for me.

HOUSTON, we have Ignition...

And so I sit in Houston this morning, after a harrowing move that felt more like the "floating of Noah's arc" than driving. (LOL) It rained so heavily all the way down Monday it popped one of my van's windshield wipers off.... twice... and by the time I reached Houston I found myself laughing hysterically while driving 15 miles an hour through downtown expressways with zero visibility. Never let it be said I don't have a sense of humor in a crisis. But I am here to report I actually made it here, unpacked the van, and now I sit comfortably reconstructing my life today.
Having everything you own in boxes certainly will make you acutely aware of what you actually need in life and what you "think" you need. Luckily, I have always been a pretty good packer so finding absolute essentials went pretty quickly. Got the computer up and running much faster than I expected, but haven't made a dent setting up the studio desk yet. But all is well here. I did want to thank the group of marvelous people that helped in no small way to make this a good transition for me. So thanks to Roger, Patty, Wade, Lori, Judy, and Genie. And thank you Genie for being so kind to me especially, I miss you already.

Another Inspirational Horoscope

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "There can be no transformation of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion," wrote psychologist Carl Jung. That should be your motto in the coming week, Libra. Clear thinking and impeccable logic will not be sufficient to guide you to your next great adventure. You need the driving force of succulent emotion rising up in your solar plexus, the lush power of raw sensitivity piercing your heart. Feel as deep as you dare.

Guess What I am Doing?

Packing, PacKing, PacKing

... and so on. I never like moving, but packing to move is a great way clear out what is needed and what needs to be discarded in life. Even though I don't have much stuff here in Texas, packing is still a chore. Just bear with me my friends as my life is currently under construction. :)

Had lunch with Bammy yesterday, and met her brand new red toy. Some people would call it an air compressor, and claim it is a much needed tool. But I am here to claim any big enameled, shiny metal thing that has a flip switch and a certain noise level is a toy, especially if it is RED. (LOL) It's OK Bammy, I think there may be a twelve step program for that. If not some femme out there should create one. In any case her house renovations are pretty impressive, with or without her new red toy. Thanks for a fun lunch and driving me around, it was a pleasure.

The First of the Season

Today I saw a firefly. In a dusky half-light, driving down the street I saw one then another dancing across the lush lawns. My heart just lept into my throat with a little squeaky sound...weeeee! In a flash I was seeing fireflies as I did in hazy early summer months as a child, with the same intense delight.
When I moved to Alaska from Texas... oh, how I missed these little bugs. Long after I learned just how they were able to blink complicated messages to each other in lights, what processes they used, and the scientific facts of their short lives I still prefer seeing the magic of them. The delight found in the beauty of the unexplained, and tonight in some way this image like no other reminds me of what the core of faith is. Not to be caught in a complicated web of intellect and words, but to be experienced straight from the heart.

Runescape Addiction Update

This last weekend I made my goal of 50+ in every discipline on Runescape. No real new goals around playing the game now, the other "blissfully ignorant" goal I set in the beginning was really too much work. I find myself attracted to the crafting, magic, and cooking aspects more than any of the others as can be seen in my scores at this point. It has been suggested I sell my character on Ebay to some player wanting a leg up in the game. The thought of her being played by someone other than me feels kinda weird so it is very doubtful I would do that. Just a nice, solid little Runescape character for those days slaying dragons seems like a good idea :)

Boing, Boing........SPRING

Nothing beats the flowers available in Springtime. Thank you so much R for the beautiful reminder of this. Stargazer Lillies have always been a favorite, and these were particularly full and beautiful. :)

Busily packing and preparing for my move. The weather has been so stormy, cloudy almost every day with thunderstorms likely in the evenings. This was what Spring was like when I was a child in Texas, but the tornado action has been a little excessive this year. It is green and beautiful outside, but like a sauna about mid-day. But even at it's hottest, I am grateful for the rain. I remember last year, when everything looked and felt like an asphalt parking lot. No complaints from me this year.

Found a fabulous group of vintage beads for new bracelets in Illinois during my trip. So yesterday I cut them apart and started sorting them for new projects. Especially important since all my bracelets went to Seattle two weeks ago, and I always feel the need to make art when I'm in transition. In a way complicated, detail oriented work has always kept me focused.. ( I know Judy will remember the FIMO buttons so long ago in Alaska :) ) I am feeling a burst of creative vision, and I welcome it back. Spring has SPRUNG.

Two Tapping Terveen Jazz Babies

And if all the excitement of preparing for the prom wasn't enough, the very same night I was treated to the dance sensation of Amber and Ashley in their competition dance group. I tried to take pictures of the performance, but must leave that to the professionals as the sisters twirled and tap danced too fast for this aunt to catch on film. (LOL) I must say today as I upload all these beautiful, talented, and smart nieces how truly blessed I am to have such a collection. My sisters done good.>>wink<<

Let There be PROM

My favorite pictures of great High School events tend to be the candid shots taken before the "official" portraits begin. Here are two (and one half if you count the weenier dog Princess) of my favorite Beckmans as Maryssa posed in full prom regalia with Lauren. This was for her boyfriend's Junior Prom, her first. It was also her first strapless dress, a glorious red beaded satin, and she was adorable in it.

Of course Puggy Beckman had to have his picture taken with the prom dress too. :) Such a sweet and smart young woman, I am so very proud of her.

Last Soccer Game of the Season 0-0

I attended Crystal's last indoor soccer match of the season while in Illinois, and here she is in full glory. They played their hearts out, and the only near miss goal of the night was Crystal's. It is funny to experience a group of people chanting for her to score every time she has possession of the ball. I guess her reputation and general attitude of "Soccer Players Eat Their Dead" proceeds her. She is a pretty tough little goalie too, which really surprised me. It is a co-ed team, and the boys generally seem to steer clear of her most times. Very smart.(LOL) I love this kid!

Still Counting :)

257 Days since my final cigerette. I don't even crave them now when I am with others that are smoking socially. I am still taking Nicotene replacement, mainly for stress relief.

I will be updating my blog over the next few days. I find it almost impossible to write when I am traveling, especially with family because we spend so much time together. This is a good thing of course, but I do miss my blog on those occasions. I am definitely a blogger now, because everyday experiences now lead me to think...hmmm...should I blog about this? (LOL)

After much consideration, I finally made the decision to move, and I will be going to Houston at the end of this month. One step closer to Galveston, which is my ultimate goal at this point. The beach delights me and is very inspiring to me. I want to experience residing there in this lifetime. So the big wheel of the Universe turns once again. But today the wheel leads me to update my blog with pictures and fun things from my family trip. And to say "Hi" to all of you I adore. You know who you are :)

And a Special Ballon Tribute to YOU

As always, you are the best of friends. Thank you for your kindness, and may it be returned to you as well. Love you. :)

The Ballon as Art

<<<--------If you are gonna dress your kid like this.

You better have one of these (LOL)--------->>>>

Why I Love Me Some Rob Brezsny April 18, 2007

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You could grow moonflowers in a toxic waste dump, Libra. You could lift the spirits of a child who has been raised in grievous poverty. That's how much regenerative power you possess right now. You might even be able to locate underground water in a desert, or resurrect a dead dream, or alleviate half of your deepest suffering. I'm not absolutely sure you could transform lead into gold, but I do know that now is one of your best chances ever to pull it off.

My horoscope for this week. I guess I best figure out how to do this :)

Is This Any Way to Treat the President Deux

He-He-He. Another Blue Q product. I always wonder when I see things like this if the company is audited shortly after introduction of this kind of thing. In any case, I am gonna save this sticker sheet for truly memorable letter writing experiences. Thanks Wade :)
Busy getting bracelets finished this week for the Seattle Art Museum's new expansion opening. I will be the featured artist in the Gift Gallery during the big Gala Public Reception, and it promises to be very glamorous. Of course I won't be attending, but my bracelets will.(LOL) All this and a three pound potato within the last thirty days. I guess I can't say my life isn't unusual.
Funny thing is, when I was designing jewelry early on in my career the Seattle Art Museum never bought any of it. Of course they were great customers when I did the candles and other products, so I have no complaints. Figures that these one of a kind bracelets I didn't really make with the idea of selling would be what they want to buy and focus on. Now to find more vintage beads and get to it.

A Little Alter Update

In Galveston this weekend I found one of those great old "Penny Masher" machines that stretches a real penny you insert in the machine mechanism and stamps it with a design of the resort. I made this little penny for my alter, to remind me of a blustery day with my sister bundled up in resort chairs watching the stormy waves. Feeling at peace and a sense of closure.

No Road Trip is Complete...

...without Bizarre Trip Art. At least no trip I've ever taken. (Judy will vouch for this, I am sure.) So this weekend Wade made us close our eyes as he drove through a warehouse district in Houston so he could surprise us with these. GIANT Presidential heads, the whole area looking like a movie set for the "Attack of the 30 Foot Tall Dead Presidents". (LOL) This is actually the studio parking lot of the sculptor David Adickes, his most famous piece being the Stephen F. Austin Monument viewed driving into Houston. It was a surreal experience, all these disembodied heads, as these photos can attest, but cool.

(OK, maybe this is where his brian is stored.)

Still on my quest to bring the you the very best bizarre art for entertainment and amusement :)

Texas to Get Prez Heads and Titanic Cowboy - Roadside America

Mama Comes Home to Texas

This Easter weekend was the time we chose to fulfill my mother's last wish. Being the quirky iconoclast she was, she wanted to be cremated and her remains make the trip home and be sprinkled over the Texas bluebonnets in the Springtime. This seems like a pretty easy task, but the first Spring after her death (last year) Texas was in a serious draught and no bluebonnets arrived. Who knew weeds (and that is basically what Bluebonnets are) actually needed water to grow? So my sister Patty and I made the decision to wait until this year, and I am so glad we did.
I cried and cried when picking my sister up from the airport, because this year bluebonnets were everywhere. Every overpass, every small patch of ground in East Texas was covered in massive, huge bluebonnets. It had been a long time since they had grown so fully, and I cried every time I saw them because it really was like the Universe made it perfect just from Mama this year.
Our first stop was to bring a little of Mama home to her parents. The picture we used to represent her on her last trip home was one of my favorites, an Easter picture of her and two sisters in 1954. We were shocked when we realized we were spreading these ashes 30 years to the day of my grandfather's death, and it all felt so right to do. Since Mom didn't want any type of gravestone or marker,we were happy to take her to her parents, knowing we could always visit her there. The next day it was on to find the perfect bluebonnets. We found a national Bluebonnet Park close to Ennis, Texas with great sloping hills into a little pond that would be a perfect view and very peaceful for her. So up the hill we walked, and the beauty of the place was overwhelming. We sat in the field and talked and talked, both to Mom and remembering her between ourselves and laughing. It all felt so happy, and when my sister said she felt her dancing in heaven, I had to agree. This is the field we found, and part of her eternal view. Because it is a park set aside for bluebonnets, she will have them every year they grow here forever.
Then it was on to Galveston, Texas to send the last of her remains to the sea. We drove down as the big cold front hit Texas, and it was actually sleeting in Galveston when we arrived. But by Easter morning the rains subsided, and even though it was bitter cold it didn't rain as we sprinkled to last of her on the beach we played on as children.

As much as we miss and loved our Mom, it was a wonderful experience I would not have missed. There is indeed a closure that doing the right thing for the deceased brings, and a peace that comes from knowing how happy she would have been (and is) that we did this for her. I am so grateful for a sister to share this with, Thank you Patty for everything.

BOOM BOOM BOOM

It's been three days now of incredible Spring thunderstorms moving through my neck of the woods, which means limited Internet time for me. I do have surge protectors for the major appliances, but "better safe than fried" is my motto at this point of my life. This weather is familiar to me, the kind of Spring I remember as a child. Full of tornado watches and evening thunderstorms. We actually got seven inches of rain last night, and it is predicted we'll get even more through the weekend. So I've taken the opportunity to read and write in my journal, and just enjoy the rain.
Next week we finish Mom's wishes and spread her ashes over Spring bluebonnet fields in Texas. I am so glad we waited for this year, there are huge fields of them everywhere. She would be so happy with this, and Patty and I finish in Galveston for a day or so of relaxation. Many encrustations will be consumed, I am sure.(LOL) It will feel good to have finished this for Mom.

The Runescape Closet

Several friends have written me asking why my little Avatar Lava is dressed as a medieval princess pulling a sword from the stone here, so I am coming out of the closet today. Mom...I'm gay. Oh sorry...wrong closet (LOL) OK :::deep breath::: I've been playing Runescape.
For years I have been a SIMS devotee. Something about that electronic dollhouse was fun to me, and I crawled all over the net finding amazing furnishings and clothing for my little SIMS people. I even set up entire neighborhoods of my actual friends. I have made the statement to several closest to me that when I die, let my SIMS game be played at my wake so everyone could find themselves in the game and enjoy my little obsession. That was until Runescape.
It started out easy enough. But any description I could write here would not do this online game justice. It is set in medieval times, and populated by actual online users 24 hours a day on 200+ servers around the globe. Twenty three different skill areas to master, unlimited items to buy and sell in auction-like stores. Rewards for mastery, it fosters goal setting and critical math skills. GOD help me, right up my alley. My friends Risley and Brooke played online with me, and I made an internal goal (very early on) to reach 50 in every discipline (that is 1/2 way...the best is 99 in each) on the game. Above is my Runescape scorecard, and as everyone can see I only have five more areas to bring up to 50. After several months of intense playing. Scary but true. I thought this would bring me up to a level that it would be fun playing in, middle of the pack. Enough knowledge to not get killed by every giant spider or tree frog walking around on the game. I have since learned that I am ranked in the top 1000 players of this game with these scores. There are over 500,000 players at any one time, and the developer Jagex states there are well over one million users. Yikes!
So what happens at 50+ you may ask? Well, since I know how this works...I am already starting to limit my time and not play as hard at it. No internal promises to go for 99 in each area within a certain time frame, as I would think my only reward there would be a straight jacket. So I am reclaiming my head space for what it was intended for. But it has been fun, and I have learned a lot about how I think and what my strengths are in life by playing this game. So if anybody is wanting to develop an online game, give me a call...(LOL) I have a few ideas after playing this one. :)