Big as Your Head on a Stick

This weekend I found myself, as I sometimes do, at a large outdoor festival with Arty Appetite. I gotta tell you, this particular fair was a real "freak show" of gargantuan Festival food. Oh yes, your standard fair stuff like funnel cakes and the lot, but I mean I was shocked at the new improved variety. I mean, cheesecake on a stick? Whole hunks of cheesecake slathered in chocolate that would feed three for dinner, giant corny dogs that looked like medium baked potatoes in size, lemonade that came in giant bucket cups that couldn't be drunk in an hour. Deep fried Twinkies, huge caramel apples with whole nut coatings, and just about anything you could skewer on a stick walked by.

All the food stalls were covered in giant banners like the old carnival freak shows,with people shouting their various slogans at passersby. It hit me that the old freak shows have become interactive, and consuming big freakish food was now the entertainment. I assure you from my vantage point, nothing is as unattractive as watching people balance their various food items, and attempt to actually eat these giant things.


The worst, and I do mean the worst offering I saw was the new improved fried guacamole on a stick. Being an old Texan, I was curious just how this was accomplished. I questioned the vendor, and was told they make the guacamole and let it sit out unrefrigerated for five days until it "sticks together", then the form it like patties on a stick and drop it into a deep fryer. Anyone with any guacamole experience will tell you, in five days the avocado has turned deep green black and I suspect what was "sticking" this mass together was bacteria holding hands and singing Kumbaya. Just the thought of what guacamole looks like in five days was enough to send me running to find the Port-a-potty. And yet someone was buying and actually eating this.

So I passed on the food freak show, and found a local bakery/bistro that actually served edible portions of food. I then bought my mini hamburger cookies and went home marveling.(LOL)