Visual Representation of Interior Space

Tiny cuts in paper, like small steps, eventually cover large surfaces. Words aren't coming very easily this week for me, so I leave a small visual feast instead. Enjoy :)

Today is the Day

Actually it is always "the day". I was thinking earlier how we are not assured anything in this life, even another day in it. Oh, this concept is fine understood intellectually, but really letting it seep into consciousness takes a while. Glimpses are possible with near death, or the death of someone close, but it is the days of waking and fully understanding this that really count. Children know this instinctually, and loose it somewhere along the line to fit in with the larger society. Watching "The Milagro Beanfield War" movie a couple of weeks ago I laughed out loud when the old man woke and thanked God for another day. I laughed mainly in recognition of myself. Finally I'm in the stage of life I realize that it is "the day" everyday.
So today I had a good breakfast, the sun is shining, and the desk is calling. Today is the day.

Bird's Nest Cupcakes

Happy Easter

Life Without Internet

Yes, it is possible. It has been flooding locally, and so my Internet cable has been hit and miss for going on three days. Blogging has been impossible. With no cable TV or Internet to entertain myself, I have turned to Easter baking. Making giant puffy cupcakes with globs of frosting is a comfort, even though if the flooding doesn't stop we might be bobbing for Easter eggs here.So quickly before I am once again logged off...Hoppy Easter to everybody :)

Excavation

During a really lucid dream last night I dreamed of Mama. I lost her a couple of years ago, and rarely dream of her so I took notice. In the dream she reminded me of something I had forgotten about, a great treasure. In 2000-2001 my mother "discovered" the Internet, with a little keyboard connected to her television set. I saw her use it once...painfully slow to type on and very slow to upload, a real chore. The ease of today's connections would impress her I am sure. So in my dream I was listening to her taped voice. Nothing really all that meaningful was said, just the type of messages she would leave on my answering machine at times. I lived far away from her for years, and when I have dreamed of her voice it is often those messages I remember. During this dream she triggered a memory of her emails. In 2000-2001 she wrote me an email everyday, and I wrote her one back. These emails were truly astounding, like a connection straight through to a different side of her. She was chronically depressed as an individual, but these emails were happy and hopeful. We discussed current events, family life, recipes..all manner of subjects. I truly enjoyed our daily conversations and was so grateful to have this insight into the core of my mother at the time. This all ended when my sister, in a jealous fit, told her I only emailed because I felt sorry for her. Nothing on this earth could have been less true then or now. But it built a wall in my mother, and the emails stopped. I saved all those emails, and I printed every single one of them. At the time I thought I was doing this to eventually bind copies, and give them to her grandchildren at some point in the future as a glimpse into their very complicated and conflicted Grandmother. But today I realize that I saved them for me too. So as I excavate through the years of my life discarding what is no longer useful, I will be on the lookout for a ream of paper that is all that is left of my mother's spirit. Thinking there might be a message for me in the now.

March Madness

(LOL) And I don't mean basketball. The last week's news has had it's share of drama and then some. Can we go a week without a major scandal in Washington ? The Internet culture is, indeed, the dawn of a new age. It is much harder now for public and private people to be secretly hypocritical in their speech and actions. Someone somewhere has a tape recorder, a video phone and access to YouTube. In a way, this is a good thing. It is going to require a massive shift in the perception of our elected officials who for too long have "talked the talk" and walked a very different way. Those who's hate speech fell on a few now find it hitting the ears of all. But the rights to privacy have been blurred to such an extent that anyone is fair game, even those loosely associated with the main character under assassination. Who among us has not been in a situation where we disagreed with a sermon we didn't prepare, or had a friendship with someone based on what was exhibited and not in the totality of their activities? It is a strange new world. As usual, with every blessing does indeed come a curse. This judgemental scrutiny is fine and dandy, unless you are the focus of it. As a society we must stop the madness of continually searching for what is "right" and "wrong" and recognize that everything we rail against is within us as well.

A Little Thank You from my Favorite Phantom

A little big, but she'll grow into it. Thanks from Crystal :)

Ronan Keating I Hope You Dance

World Market Escapade

Today was the day. I received a gift card from World Market for Christmas and it was such a lovely day I decided that today was officially "World Market Adventure Day." Gassed up the van and off I went, to bag the illusive Vodka Spaghetti Sauce and other gourmet delicacies. The sun was shining, the weather was crisp (but chilly only in the shadows.)..and away I went.

Then off to get water aerobics accomplished on my return. All is right in my world today. :)

Been painting for several days, have an idea that's been itching my brain for a while. Exercising my hand skills with a floral piece first, I think I must be anticipating spring. Haven't much felt the urge to write, but wanted to update for the folks that read here. I plan on uploading some work as soon as it is ready to see.

Finished "A New Earth", and the second Oprah online class is tonight. I'm re-reading it slower now and letting my mind chew on it sentence by sentence. Not really ready to discuss it here, but I have certainly had my own "ah-hah" moments with it. I am impressed with the inclusion of so many different religious tracts in it, mainly because that is how I've always felt about faith. Just different roads to the same destination.

So hope everybody experiences some small happiness today. Go ahead, it won't kill ya. (LOL)

As Always, Thank You

Yay! Snow Day

It is amazing, the way the weather has fluctuated this year. Two days ago in the 70's, now icy and cold again. Been chewing on vitamin C and luckily prepared myself for a few days of creative works at the house. A big roast beast, clean sheets...it's all good.

Yes clean sheets. Is there anything as wonderful on a cold winter night than a warm envelope of bedding? I was thinking this just last night. Every Monday and Thursday is clean sheets day at my house. A little creature comfort ritual that is highly under-rated. It truly is impossible to be miserable when you anticipate clean sheets. Really, I am such a homebody it is funny even to me.

Lately it's been a real struggle to blog. I've realized just how visually motivated I really am in this process by reading other people's blogs. I guess writing is a small way that I express myself, and when I'm in the space to create I automatically turn to art projects. I have never expressed daily angst well, as I tend to approach writing, and any creative endeavor in fact, with a sense of hopefulness and gratitude. It is oh-so-hip to express caustic wit, belittle the efforts of other people, or grind away expressing every angst ridden moment of a life. So much harder, I think, to focus and express even the smallest goodness that graces every life. It is my thought that intelligence is not an automatic pass in the struggle to make positive impact in life. A very intelligent friend once told me that thinking was almost a disease in this culture. She could have been correct.

So off to tackle the roast beast. An onion, a handful of carrots, and a few red potatoes should coax it into sublime submission. On a cold winter's day in Illinois.

I love this

Speak for yourself Rogie! (LOL) I'n not quite there yet!

Blog Tag Game

I was tagged by my friend Cedar today for this blogger round robin. Here goes....

THE RULES:
1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3.Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4.Then invite 5 friends to do the same.

I have a somewhat eclectic pile of reading next to my bed, as I have been studying pictoral symbols recently and looking through old illustration books. For the first time in my life I actually bought and I am reading an Oprah's Bookclub selection "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle. I am fascinated with the whole online class concept around this book, so it is the one I chose to quote.

"People unknowlingly sabatage their own work when they withhold help or information from others or try to undermine them lest they become more successful or get more credit than "me."

Cooperation is alien to the ego, except when there is a secondary motive. The ego doesn't know that the more you include others, the more smoothly things flow and the more easily things come to you. When you give little or no help to others or put obstacles in their path, the universe-in the form of people and circumstances-gives little or no help to you because you have cut yourself off from the whole. The ego's unconscious core feeling of "not enough" causes it to react to someone else's success as if that success had taken something away from the "me."

Page 123: "A New Earth" Eckert Tolle.

TAG ...You're IT:

Bammy : I know you have a book lying right over there!

Brian : Interested in what you could be reading :)

Sharon : I know you've been a busy Domestic Goddess..maybe a cookbook?

June : Read you all the time...It's winter..time to write!

Anne : How's that book coming :) Pictures would work too.

Bon-Bons

My grandmother was quite a character. I don't hold a candle to her in this regard, but I do frequently find myself remembering and following through on her ability to find the fun in the mundane. Oscar Night was one of these small celebrations, and she and I would generally watch the telecast together. She loved to buy a brand new box of chocolates (usually the old "Annaclairs" from Sanger -Harris, but chocolate covered cherries would do) that would sit on her lap the whole show. Everytime a favorite film star or film won any category we would :::pop::: a whole chocolate in our mouths. Now she was diabetic as she got older, but this was a tradition she steadfastly refused to give up. We got chocolates, she got life savers.

So in the years I have been around my neices I brought this tradition back, this time I provided the chocolate covered cherries. It didn't seem to impress them much at the time, except the fact they were allowed to stay up later than usual to watch the show. Today is Oscar Day, and since they are all almost grown with busy lives I had no plans to watch it with them. Imagine my surprise when I answered a knock on my door earlier today to find my 16 year old neice Maryssa. Just stopping by to drop off a box of chocolate covered cherries since we wouldn't be together tonight. Wow, even when you think they aren't really getting it, they are. I consider this the best picture winner for sure :)

:::pop:::

Crows

Tabloid Life

People talk. People buy magazines like these every day and get caught up in the details of lives of people they will never meet or have the real information to understand. For the life of me I will never understand why this is so. You will never find a person who applauds the photographers that stalk celebrities, but buying these supports the them. Licking lips at the newest celebrity scandel on tabloid TV feeds this system. I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about the nature of American life, and how we have become a consumer culture where "connection with other" is not possible. The ability to throw away other's lives and other people in such a cavalier way is related to this...there is always someone else, something else that might be better on the horizon. But this is not so. The real measure of a life well spent is the real connection between people. Real people with all their faults and differences. To be a true rebel in this life is to understand beyond the crushing hype machine that what is "new" and "improved" is not always desirable. To understand not everything is as it appears on the surface of a person or situation.

In saying this I am moved to make more of a personal effort to understand others, and if that is not possible at the very least to have compassion. I believe in the adage; Be the change you seek.

The Artist's Eye

Ventured out this morning in the slush ice and spied little bird tracks in the snow. I have no idea why, but seeing them brought joy to me, and I spent the rest of the trip out almost giddy. I smiled directly in the eye of everyone I encountered, and really peeked at the tiny details of life I wouldn't normally notice. How much of life is spent walking through it without actually seeing the small delicious details of it. It is the artist's eye, this joy of seeing. So, thank you little bird for hopping about on this slushy winter day without snowshoes for your inspiration.

Heavenly Bodies

Wasn't the eclipse spectacular last night? Illinois was bracing for another ice storm, but luckily there was a window of clear visiblity that coincided with the eclipse last night. All I had to do was open my front door to see it, and I bundled up and kept track of it for about an hour. This will be the last we will see in three years they say, so I was grateful to have such a glorious view.

A New Day

Ever notice how great you feel the day you come off some lingering illness? Well, today is that day for me. There was sometime Monday I felt I was never going to feel much better. But today life surprised me. I would say my energy level is about 87%, so this bug lasted almost a full week. Good news is I spent the time in bed when I wasn't sleeping studying visual symbols and dream archtypes. Just a refresher course really, but it brought forth some really interesting and very lucid dreams. Just the thing now that the desk is clear and staring me down :)
We are in the midst of a huge ice storm. I chipped out the car earlier and did a few errands, as well as purchased a nice meal for watching the Oscars on Sunday. Now that I can actually eat food again I felt like celebrating. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions and support while I was under the weather, especially those of you (you know who you are) that helped me laugh. It really is the best medicine.

Still Alive >>bruuurp<<

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Leonardo da Vinci created a mural that his contemporaries regarded as an even greater masterpiece than *The Last Supper.* Painted on a wall in Florence's Palazzo Vecchio, *The Battle of Anghiari* later vanished when the building was remodeled. Some experts believe it still exists, however, hidden behind another wall that bears a newer mural. Even as we speak, investigators are using advanced technology to detect the possible presence of Leonardo's missing tour de force. Let this serve as a metaphor for the work you have ahead of you, Libra. It's a perfect time to search for lost brilliance that's stuck behind a barrier or buried treasure that has almost been forgotten. Once you find it, then you can free it.

A significant horoscope; another Rob Brezsny masterpiece. Feeling a little bit more energy, but still sick :( Who knew a sick body could make such amazing music. OK...now you see why I've not been blogging. Too Much Information. Stop me before I start writing about "BO-BO". Really. Stop me.