A Christmas Storybook: Mechanical Snowman

I'll admit it, I am sooo not a fan of mechanical Christmas do-dahs. But genetics aren't always the same between sisters, and my sister Patty lives for these things. Every year searching for "the" new Christmas decoration that beeps or squawks, it makes her house a giant labyrinth of annoying Christmas cheer noise.
In 2002 she proudly displayed this guy in her front hallway. The first time I saw him wiggle his derriere and swing his little light-up snowflakes to the tune of "I'm Mr. White Christmas" in his glitter vest I squealed ""OH MY GOD...she's found a drag queen snowman!!! " Mostly to annoy my sister. Insert guffaw here.
Well, imagine my surprise when watching Jay Leno on the Tonight Show about a week later and seeing this little snowman featured on a Christmas product segment. And what did Jay Leno say about this little guy? Hmmm... I guess I wasn't the only only to see the similarities. My sister saw Leno too, and guess what was under the tree for me that year. (LOL)
A postscript to this little tale: Of course Mr. White Christmas sold out everywhere after his appearance on the Tonight Show. So when he finally was restocked he'd had a makeover. In an attempt to butch him up they'd replaced his glitter vest with one "only a straight guy" would wear. Needless to say he fit in at Wallymart better, but he'd lost his charm. Those "MR. White Christmas, dammit!" Snowman hit the clearance table almost as soon as they arrived. Hee!

A Christmas Storybook : Reindeer Steaks

While reading Sharon's blog about several of her special Christmas Ornaments over at Domestic Bliss I got the idea to write some new personal Christmas stories for the holiday season as a gift to my readers. (A better gift than a card, but maybe not as good as a bottle of wine.) Each day I will pull something from my own rather eclectic Christmas decor to write a story about; some funny, some beautiful, and some bittersweet. Think of it as a little blog advent calender counting down to the big day. Hope ya'll enjoy reading, even you grumpy assed "I hate Christmas" people.

This, dear readers, is my nomination for the funniest product concept incorporated into Christmas ornaments I have seen in my life. I bought this set from my friend Terri Sullivan at her store BIZANGO in 1995, and even today they make me laugh uncontrollably. Leave it to BlueQ to do this. I mean, what could be more evil than Reindeer Meat Cuts named after famous reindeers on pop out Christmas Ornaments? If you aren't laughing at this, you really need to check your pulse. I don't hang them on my tree, as they are traumatic to children. But every year, when I unpack and see them, I am insured of a really big belly laugh to start the season.

Blog Number 300 Snuck up on me!

On to 400 :)

Another Friendly Public Service Announcement

Management has received a fervent request that something be written here so the first thing you see loading my blog is not my scrumptious pie. I mean really, it was a lovely pie. In the immortal words of Barney the Dinosaur "Sharing is Caring", and indeed those are words I strive heartily to live by. But, as is the way of all good intentions, now there are words to read first upon viewing my blog since the photograph seemed to be the road to Hell for some. And so comes the disclaimer*

*Photographs of food presented on this blog are considered entertainment (unless otherwise noted) and may not be your experience in baking. We strongly recommend that those with chronic inappropriate hunger or temporary growling stomachs decline to view photographs thirty minutes to one hour before eating, and never before bedtime. We provide no warranty, expressed or implied, as to the ability of this blogger to FedEx pies upon user request. Photograph of "Turkey & Mushroom" pie was meant as an illustration of the season and not, as has been implied, uploaded to torture any unfortunate "pie-less" readers. Unauthorized or improper use of pie photographs may result in administrative disciplinary action and severe indigestion. View pie photographs at your own risk.

A Chilly Winter's Day Project

YUM! For all you turkey hater's out there, this is why Thanksgiving Turkeys RULE. It was drizzly and cold outside Saturday (as it is today), and it seemed the perfect day to make a turkey pot pie with mushrooms. I actually made my own crust, and did the little "pie flower" steam vents my grandmother used to make on hers. Smelled so heavenly cooking, and looked so cheery on my counter cooling, I thought I'd share this little pie and all the warm feelings I'm having on this cold winter day. :)

Ok George

I got a "Wheresgeorge" dollar bill in my change last night, and couldn't wait to see where he traveled in his normal circulation. I really enjoy the idea of tracking where bills go, and what they are spent on in their travels. But POOR George... this bill only travelled 18 Miles in 1 year, 232 days, 14 hours, 35 minutes at an average of 0.03 Miles per day. Not that Illinois isn't a fabulous tourist destination, but that doesn't seem like much of a trip in my humble estimation. So I have the idea of sending him in a gift with a note to spend in another state. Giving him a little "jump start" somewhere new. Too much of the country left to see, I figure I am doing my patriotic part. :)

http://www.wheresgeorge.com

It Starts with Gratitude...

Having fun learning more about Kanji, Japanese pictogram language. I find it fascinating of course, since I've always been attracted to the visually symbolic. Thought I would upload a few here over the next few weeks in an effort to remember them as I learn. It seems most appropriate to start with the symbol for "gratitude" since we are so close to Thanksgiving. (A holiday that has seemingly morphed into a monstrous turkey gluttonfest, and not so much the act of gratitude for abundance it should represent.) I try my best in my daily written journal to be thankful for the small overlooked aspects of life as well as the huge miracles. So today I send out to my friends "gratitude", to remind us all to take a moment to think of the things in life that truly deserve thanks.

Nature's Modern Art

As a few of you know, I have collected stamps for use in personal correspondence for years. Why use a boring stamp when you can really enjoy a mini piece of art? (LOL) Well, today at my local Post Office I asked to look at the new stamp sheets, just to check out the Christmas Stamps for cards. When I spied this sheet I was absolutely in love, it is by far the best art I've seen on a stamp in a long time. Now maybe it is my visceral reaction to the combination of the colors, or just my sentimental favorite since loving the lights in person. In any case I would encourage anyone to enjoy such a little art jewel, even if they only use them for postage :)

You've been Warned!

There will probably be a test too (LOL)

Mona Lisa Descending a Staircase

And another video..just 'cos I can now (LOL)

Women In Art

Finally! After several months of not being able to upload to my blog... a video upload from UTube arrives! Thanks Sharon for your kind expertise. I loved this video from the moment I first saw it last spring and wanted to share it. Enjoy!

What I am reading: Victoria Finlay "Jewels"

My birthday book from Rogie this year. I so enjoyed Victoria Finlay's natural history of color that he gave me at Christmas 2006 he knew I would love this one. Reads like a novel, but full of interesting historic and compositional facets on all manner of jewels. Ms Finlay travels the world to the sources of each type of jemstone, with chapters devoted to each stone in the major spectrum. I assure you after reading you could never look at a jewel in the same way again. I would recommend to anyone with an interest in history or art, a fascinating read.

And the WINNER is....

Best Homemade Homage to Corporate Branding:

Light Up Spongebob

Most Likely to Need Therapy as an Adult :

Scary Monster with Ribs Sticking out

Best Use of Technology for Optimum Night Viewing:
Christmas Lights Sparkle Fairy

Most Fabric Used in Special Halloween Effect:

Mr. Mummy (5 yards)

Best Use of future Gay Best Friend (High School Age Range):

Gypsy and Zombie

Diane Arbus Commemorative Award :

Shark King (I am bored of taking pictures Aunt Laura)

And thus concludes the 2007 Howlie Trick or Treat Awards.

Happy Halloweenie :)

Look what washed up on the lakeside this Halloween! OOOooo...scary! The famous mermaid and merman costumes were finished in the nick of time. The pictures above were taken before Crystal and Amber went to school today (no makeup/hair color was allowed there), and in the last Crystal is ready to go out trick or treating with full tattoos and spray painted hair. Amber was a little self conscious around her mermaid ..ah-hem "chest" but loved her long blue hair and dangling earrings. Crystal loved her "Shark King" chest tattoo and stuffed six pack abs. Plenty of securely wrapped Halloween candy was enjoyed by all :)

Sharing the High Point of my Day

Today was the first fitting of the fishtail portion of the Halloween costumes for my nieces. I must admit, I never learned to sew well on a machine but I generally make up for this in hand sewing skills and design. Each fishtail has taken quite a bit of time to complete, and since they are somewhat form fitted they had to be tried on each child today for final alterations. After school my niece Amber came over and tried on her fishtail for fit, and I once it was on I watched her little face light up like a Christmas tree when she first saw herself in her "real tail". It was worth every hour of sewing to see such delight. :)

Crossing Over the Covered Bridge

I have been traveling the past week, mainly for business as we were involved with the massive Covered Bridge Festival in Indiana. Ten days, 2.5 million people, blown over festival tents, major weather problems, and a hotel hours away from the festival itself made it grueling to do. But the best part was the turning of the tree leaves, every imaginable color along small country roads. It was still unseasonably warm, but there was a bit of fall peeking around the corners. And those little snack packs the hotel packed for the residents every morning felt a little like school lunches made by Mom, a nice thing to see at 5 am. :)
Returned to a ..slap.. instead of a kiss of Autumn in Illinois. It became very cold last night and the night was clear and full of stars. Another reason I do like living here is seeing the constellations so clearly. Received a sweet birthday gift from Rogie today, and I couldn't be more delighted with my new book and various accessories, thank you. I hope everyone in life has a friend as kind as Rogie has always been to me.
I am busy finishing up fish tailed Halloween costumes and enjoying the peace of my home tonight; everything feels right in my world, and for that I am grateful.

Can ART to fight Hunger 2007

Amazing what a couple of architects armed with canned goods "can" do. This event is getting bigger and here are some of my favorites from this year.

Update on Life in the Heartland

Wow, I have never felt so silent in my life. Every day I try to remind myself to BLOG and by the end of the day I haven't. I guess all the confusion and anxiety the last few months have taken their toll on my voice. So those of you that read this looking for me I am sorry. I am struggling to find my routine in my new surroundings, and I miss my blogging too.

Patty is healing up well, and I spent a lot of time taking over her life last week. And what did I learn from this? Her life is hard, she is welcome to have it back. I knew making the decision not to have kids was a sound one for me. Love 'em when I rent 'em, but I like getting the deposit back at the end of the day. (LOL) My nieces took the opportunity of me hanging around a lot to con me into building elaborate mermaid/ merman costumes (three guesses who is gonna be a merman...) for Halloween. I will post pictures before they get out the door and get sticky candy all over them.

Judy called from New Zealand last night to wish me "Happy Birthday" and it was good to talk to her. Today got a birthday giftie from Genie in the mail. Totally unexpected and welcomed, thank you Genie. :) Tomorrow (my actual birthday) Patty and I will be taking a girl's day out. The only thing I really know we will do for sure is "shrimp"...(LOL) I guess that's the word that jumped out at me in her birthday plan description. Since we are the only family members that adore them we sneak away and do "shrimp" whenever we can. My birthday is as good an excuse as any.

It is terrifically hot here still, I am waiting for the kiss of crispness that means fall has arrived. It usually arrives around my birthday, but this year only steam heat. So my Meez character chose to be a devil this year for Halloween, figuring if you can't beat the weather join it. :)

The Birthday Girls

This weekend found me elbow deep in twin birthday cakes for my sisters Patty and Martha. They were actually born on the same day a year apart, and we decided to have a joint birthday party on Sunday. They requested opposite cakes (figures, they couldn't be any more different as people) and I accomplished harmony by the cake decoration. No candles, just 44 candy roses for Patty and 43 candy roses for Martha. The cakes basically became a rose trellis for each sister. I dearly love making birthday cakes, and this time unfortunately wasn't fast enough with my camera to show pictures. Cake does not last long with these kids. (LOL)
Of course this was a send off for Patty's surgery today. She has been in a lot of pain with that genetic rudimentary gallbladder we all have (thanks Mom), and we (being us) laughed all evening about Patty's surgeon's reaction to what he found in her stomach today. I am sending up prayers that all will be well, and would appreciate any other prayers in this regard. I guess I have lived to long not to know even routine surgery has real risks.
Finally have all my books unpacked, and not nearly enough bookcase space for them all. Story of my life actually. I figure the day I have enough space I would die in shock before placing the last book. My neice asked me point blank if I had read them all, and when I told her I had she never missed a beat asking "Then why do you keep them ?" I went into a long explination around how they were special art books and they inspired me, but really she might be right. I am just grateful, I suppose, to be their caretaker in this life. Just as long as I don't have to move them again anytime really soon.

What I am Reading: Curt Cobain Journals

When I saw this at the bookstore I almost passed it by since I figured it would be a little too strange and morose for me. I was in Seattle at the time these were written, and saw him on the streets of Capitol Hill as well as heard him pre-fame in concert at the Crocodile Club, so my curiosity got the best of me, and I am glad it did. This is an actual reprinting of several spiral notebooks found in Curt's possession after death. There is something very powerful about seeing his drafts of songs and reading his thoughts in his own handwriting, as jumbled and sketchy as any artist's vision is. Among sketches of video concepts, notes to friends (as drafts), and lists of equipment needed for gigs there is a human there. Trying his best in a real love/hate relationship with fame and fortune and struggling to understand and hold on to his life in a whirlwind most of us can only imagine. I was surprised at his view on gays (he actually supported them fully, and was angered by hate crimes) drugs, ( his drug use was not quite what the media reported) and what he saw for his own future. A very interesting glimpse into the creative process. I was surprised just how vulnerable he really was, and now much of what was considered "Nirvana" was Curt Cobain.

Stolen from a friend who STOLE it from Someone else

What color is your soul painted? Purple Your soul is painted the color purple, which embodies the characteristics of sensuality, spirituality, creativity, wealth, royalty, nobility, mystery, enlightenment, arrogance, gaudiness, mourning, confusion, pride, delicacy, power, meditation, religion, and ambition. Purple falls under the element of Earth, and was once a European symbol of royalty; today it symbolizes the divine. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

I didn't win the cow (LOL)

OK, this is my story. My next door neighbor was selling raffle tickets for a big festival here last week. I bought a few, and among the tickets was one for a cow. Now I expected this would be beef from a cow, and when I read the fine print I was astonished to find it was for a whole LIVE cow. OMG...what am I gonna do with a cow! I mean, it would cost about 300$ to process an entire cow, and that would also mean I would pay to kill it. I can and do eat beef, but this much beef would take a much larger freezer than I have, and killing a cow... yikes! I called my sisters, and they both assured me (since they are both cow beef buying professionals) that 1/2 a cow feeds both their families for months and months...and between the three of us there would not be enough freezer space for an entire cow. In my mind, this was a bad sign that, since I was not really prepared, I would win it. (LOL) Luckily, I won BINGO games instead and someone else won a cow. Cash is easy to store, and takes up virtually no freezer space. Thanks Universe.

You never know...

...what you will find at an Illinois auction. I can't believe there are actually people that live here and never go to auctions! I got back in the swing of it yesterday, and bought several things for resale. But this little 50's Chinese Figurine set stays with me. I priced this set of early 50's Shawnee Chinese figurines with detachable baskets for my oriental collection last time I was in Seattle and the pair was $45.00. Yesterday I found them sitting in the middle of a huge auction trailer, in pristine condition, and purchased them for $6.00. I have come to believe about 50% of antiques on Ebay at this point are from Illinois, Indiana, and Missouri auctions. This particular auction also had unbelievable furniture deals, and I am watching out for pieces to repaint. I couldn't bare to paint real antiques, but old wooden furniture is plentiful here and so I am on the lookout for 40's and 50's naive pieces to paint. I'll keep my progress posted :)

A Very "Fortunate" Day

Today I had Chinese food for lunch, one of my favorite treats. Imagine my surprise when I opened my fortune cookie and three fortunes popped out. In all my years, I have never had that happen so I think maybe I should take this group seriously. (LOL) I have always saved my fortunes, I have thousands of them. I have thought at various times I should write a book using only my fortunes, or use them in some creative work. But never have I encountered three stuffed in one cookie. So it is indeed a fortunate day. :)

On to the Next Year

Long Term Benefits of Quitting
1 year:
excess risk of coronary heart disease is decreased to half that of a smoker
At 5 years:
from 5 to 15 years after quitting, stroke risk is reduced to that of people who have never smoked.
At 10 years:
risk of lung cancer drops to as little as one-half that of continuing smokers
risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, and pancreas decreases
risk of ulcer decreases
At 15 years:
risk of coronary heart disease is now similar to that of people who have never smoked
risk of death returns to nearly the level of people who have never smoked.

Yesterday it was a year. It was really difficult to quit the first week, but I was very determined. And there have been times "just one cigarette" would have been an easy self-con. But from my own experience I knew better. And here I am a year later... smoke free. My friend Bammy is quitting now, 40+ days...and I wanted to post these to inspire her to continue. She's had a hard year too, and it takes a lot of courage to walk through this when stressed out in real life. I am proud of you Bammy.
It would have been impossible to do this without the generous help of Rachael for many months, and so I must say "Thank you" to her as well.
And now, on the day after this goal has been reached I start on another. I was diagnosed with diabetes this year, and I have battled a weight problem my whole life. So this year's goal is to reduce in weight and build strength. Another goal that has so far eluded me no matter how long I've worked at it. I am built like my Mother, and the chances on me being tiny are slim (No pun intended) but I will reduce my chances of being dependant on insulin if I work diligently at this goal. So all the good thoughts, prayers, and support that have been extended to me during this year I hope will continue for this goal as well.

Tick Tick Tick...

In five days it will have been a full year. I can honestly say, if the situatiions of this last year didn't drive me to smoke, none never will. :)

Well, It's been a while...

Finally on the other side of a very difficult situation. Still have all my fingers and toes and I'm still breathing...so I am grateful. Spent the last couple of weeks just righting my life, taking time to not only reconstruct but really look at my current path and see where I really want it to lead at this point.

I knew it was time to start blogging again when I saw this. (LOL) A HUGE ten pound zucchini squash. It absolutely needed it's moment in the spotlight... it was almost a sin to cut it up and use it! I use zucchinis as a meat extender in several low fat meals...and this baby was used in four full sized freezer recipes. Illinois is amazing for it's ability to grow such things, and one of the benefits of residing here is the fresh vegetables and fruits. So it is fitting that this starts off my blogging here . :)

Borrowed from a Friend :)

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Check in

T-Minus five days and counting. Trying my dead level best to pack in two weeks what it took a month to unpack ...it makes for an interesting experience. STILL Not smoking..which is a miracle considering the stress I'm dealing with currently. Luckily, I have many more reasons to be grateful than to be bitter. This too shall pass.

Non-Smoking Update

324 Days since I quit smoking. Almost a year, amazing to contemplate. I can add that even though there have been days smoking seemed like the solution, I haven't forgotten the folks who have encouraged and supported this, and never even wavered. I have found the process of quitting way too hard to consider doing it more than once.

You can do this Bammy. I have complete faith in you. You've already survived way worse than this.

Saving to Remember..

"You have always been a source of inspiration, and never lose sight of yourself as a talented, fantastic woman of great courage."

Sometimes little things are said and done in life that make all the difference. It is easy to overlook these small things, and today I am putting this recent quote from a friend here to remind myself. Little words from far away, typed in an email that found their way to me when I most needed them.
Just as most of life goes on while we make other plans, I find my living situation once again in flux. So, once again, I find I am like the Indigo Girls lyric I have always related to..."We own nothing, nothing is ours. Not even love so fierce it burns like baby stars. But this poverty is our greatest gift. The weightlessness of us as things around begin to shift."

This too shall pass.

45 Days...and still no ARK

It flooded in my neighborhood today. This picture is the cross street directly in front of the house. I live in the Houston Heights, so named because it is the highest point of land in Houston. It has rained here continually for forty-five days, and we are still not assured of a dry day in the next seven. There was even a water spout that turned into a tornado on Galveston Island yesterday... which has never happened before.
.

My car parked on the street curb. About an hour after this picture was taken the water reached the bottom of my front bumper. Luckily it did not float down the street, a few of my neighbors were not so lucky. In the middle of all this, Wade blew a fuse in the house and there was really no way to get anywhere to replace it for several hours. Fun, fun, fun.

I'm just saying, if there is anyone building an Ark out there, and you are picking two lesbians for the ride, I volunteer to be one of them. Really.

Intolerable Beauty: Portraits of American Mass Consumption

Plastic Pop Bottles, 2007

Depicts two million plastic beverage bottles, the number used in the US every five minutes.

Detail : Pop Bottles

Plastic Bags, 2007
Depicts 60,000 plastic bags, the number used in the US every five seconds.


Detail: Plastic Bags

Cigarettes, 2007
Depicts 65,000 cigarettes, equal to the number of American teenagers under age eighteen who become addicted to cigarettes every month.



Detail: Cigarettes

Cell Phones, 2007

Depicts 426,000 cell phones, equal to the number of cell phones retired in the US every day.

Detail: Cell Phones

This photographic series by Chris Jordon is fascinating to me, and I thought I would share it. Please view other works in this series (as well as his series on the aftermath of Katrina, a signed edition I received on my birthday) on his website

chris jordan photography

What I fround Digging Around in the Back Yard

Fig Trees! One on the side of the house, one in the back yard. Both so full of baby fig fruits we'll have tons of them by mid-summer. I looked up recipes today for fig jam, fig cake, and fig muffins to try and use some of them. I have always loved gardening and foods you go just go outside and pick to eat. I have fond memories of picking nice warm figs off the tree in my Aunt's House in Galveston and biting into the swishy fruit. YUM! If anybody out there has good ideas for using them up, please email me.
Dreamed of an idea for an art show last night, and started seriously thinking about it today. Even started looking on EBAY for one of the special materials. It has been very rainy in Houston, and just the perfect weather for dreaming and planning today. So things are percolating here, and I wanted to share my delight in the simple fig :)

And Speaking of "Art"...(LOL)

Who needs a trouser dropping mechanical Santa Claus when you could have this? One of the benefits of being around Wade (and there are many) is that he does have the best toys around. This is the brand new Pole Dancer Doll that will be available on store shelves by Christmas. You actually plug her into your MP3 Player and she dances to your very own music with flashing lights around her stage. Now, to really make her authentic they should have included teeny tiny twenty dollar bills to really get her going. Now this is ART baby! (LOL) I include this especially for a few special readers, you know who you are :) Enjoy

Damien Hirst's "For the Love of God"

In Britain, artist Damien Hirst's personal and professional reputation is well-established. The most famous and infamous of the Young British Artists (YBAs), he is best known for his Natural History series - dead animals, such as a shark, a sheep or a cow, preserved in formaldehyde.
Hirst enthusiasts say his work is bold and ground-breaking, that it sets the standard for contemporary art in the early part of the 21st century. But his numerous detractors, including respected figures in the art world as well as the tabloid press, argue that there is little more to Hirst's work than hype. He has been accused of being derivative and being an artistic con-artist.
Whatever the critics say, there is no doubt that his work has had a huge impact on the art scene, particularly in England, and has brought contemporary art into the full glare of media attention. Damien Hirst continues to explore his fascination with death, medicine, belief and faith with his new piece entitled "For the Love of God," a diamond-encrusted human skull worth £50m - said to be the most expensive piece of contemporary art currently available. The 18th Century skull is entirely covered in 8,601 jewels, while new teeth were made for the artwork at a cost of £14m. The centrepiece of the 41-year-old's creation is a pear-shaped pink diamond, set in the skull's forehead. The skull, which was bought from a shop in Islington, north London, is thought to belong to a 35-year-old European who lived between 1720 and 1810.

Well, I'll give him credit where it is due. It is very thought provoking and fascinating work on a lot of levels, even if i find it personally in somewhat dubious taste. It is rather "tabloid" art in my opinion, but who could fault Hirst with that in our increasingly "tabloid" society? I have no doubt someone will step up to the plate and buy this, and I guess that old pinback button we all wore in art school is indeed true..."Art is anything you can get away with."

Puddles is right!

Well, after days of heated angst and anticipation (with electricians crawling all over and much drilling, etc) I am pleased to announce the opening of ...>>ta-dah<<>new air conditioner!!! Today not only did I purchase it, I also installed it (with Wade's help). Yipppeeeee!! I know it isn't a big red thing that makes lots of noise like Bammy's toy, but I don't think I could be more thrilled with anything, even a Cartier diamond. There is a point in heat exhaustion that it is too much trouble to even think, much less type, so I predict more blogging will ensue. But today I am just doing a happy "new airconditioner"dance. cha-cha-cha...
P.S. Thanks Judy, for everything :)